Ravaged Hero (Heroes with Heart Book 3) Read online

  Ravaged Hero

  Heroes with Heart

  Hope Ford

  Contents

  Free Books

  1. Cora

  2. Cora

  3. Cora

  4. Cora

  5. Cora

  6. Cora

  7. Cora

  8. Cora

  9. Cora

  Epilogue

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  About the Author

  Ravaged Hero © 2021 by Hope Ford

  Editor: Kasi Alexander

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

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  1

  Cora

  No matter how many times I hear it, the smooth timbre of Patton’s voice sends goosebumps down my arms as I listen to his voicemail greeting again. I’ve called—over and over—and he never picks up or returns my calls. In his defense, I do always say that everything is okay so he doesn’t really have to call me. But with my whole being, I hope he will.

  I haven’t seen Patton since my brother’s funeral a little over a year ago. It may have been a while, but I can still remember everything about that day. I was grief-stricken about my brother, but I can still recall the calm, protected feeling that I felt in Patton’s arms and how much comfort it gave me to see him at the service.

  He only spoke to me to offer me his condolences and make sure I had his phone number in case I needed anything, but it was enough to make me feel like I wasn’t alone in my grief.

  What good was giving me your phone number if you don’t answer it and avoid my calls? I ask my phone as if I’m talking to him. I have already left a message and hung up. I’m always asking how he is doing, and I know how hard that question is for veterans to answer. So I figured that’s why he wasn’t answering. But I can’t help but sort of take it personally now. I mean it’s been a year... maybe I should give up.

  “Cora.” The professionally dressed woman says my name from the opened door, interrupting my thoughts.

  I take a deep breath and stand up, smoothing my hands down the front of my pants. It’s time for my weekly therapy appointment with Dr. Stevens. It’s required as part of my job, and most of the time I’m thankful for it. As a case worker for veterans, I’ve seen and heard a lot of awful things, things that I lose sleep over, but talking about it helps for sure. I always try to come in here each week ready to talk about what’s bothering me, knowing I’ll feel better afterwards, but today I’m a little iffy about it. Talking about the veterans and issues I’m helping them with is so much easier than talking about myself and my issues.

  “Hey, Dr. Stevens!”

  She waves her hand at the open door, beckoning me in. “Hey, Cora. You ready to get started?”

  Instead of my usual chipper self, I take a deep breath and nod as I walk past her. I take a seat on the couch as she sits in the chair next to me.

  “Okay, what’s going on?” she asks as she picks up her notepad off the table.

  “Nothing. Everything is really good. My patients are doing well. I was able to find housing for one, set up numerous interviews for a few. I convinced one of my patients to finally agree to therapy which he’s needed for a while now. The ‘Bridge’ project is really going well, and I truly feel like I’m making a difference there. Really, everything is going well.”

  I say it all with a big smile, but as I go on and on about my patients’ success, even I can hear the worry in my voice. There’s no hiding the pain I’m feeling from Patton not answering my phone calls or returning them. I don’t understand it, and I wish I could say that if I talked to him, I’d be fine, but I know that’s not the case. One phone call isn’t going to make me miraculously feel better. It’s not like I’ll stop thinking about him after that. I haven’t stopped thinking about him since the day I met him four years ago at my high school graduation.

  Dr. Stevens leans forward with a gentle smile on her face. “Okay, work is good. So what’s bothering you?”

  I shrug my shoulders, debating with myself on whether I should bring it up or not, but knowing I should. Talking about it does help. “I’m still trying to get a hold of Patton.”

  The doctor nods, obviously remembering me talking about Patton before. I never meant to bring him up, but there’s no way I can talk about my past without bringing up Patton. I almost laugh just thinking about it. I’m probably not even on his radar, and he doesn’t have a clue how much I think about him, but that’s all I can think about. From the moment I met him, I knew there was something special about him. Back then, I had no idea what that pull was in my lower belly, but I knew I wanted to be around him. For the next four years, I saw him mostly through video calls with my older brother when Patton would jump on just to say hi or whatever. He has no idea how much that meant to me that he would take time like that to just talk to me and check in.

  When I saw him again at my college graduation, I flirted with him endlessly during his stay until he finally put me straight, telling me that I was a child playing an adult’s game. He wasn’t wrong either. But that was after he had given in and kissed me. It was my first and only kiss, and I remember it just as if it had happened yesterday instead of a little over a year ago. I should have listened to him tell me he wasn’t interested in me but damn, that kiss. I still dream about his lips on mine and the way he held me so close. His arms had held me so possessively and so close. I remember the way his body had reacted to our closeness, feeling his hardness against my softness. That kiss told me exactly how he felt, and I knew he was fighting his feelings for me. I wasn’t going to give up, I wanted him more than I wanted anything in my whole life. He and Jason went back to base shortly after that, and it wasn’t long before we got the call about Jason. When he died, it seemed like everything fell apart. My parents divorced and moved to opposite ends of the country. And it seemed my connection to Patton died with my brother.

  “Tell me about him. Tell me about Patton.” Dr. Steven interrupts my thoughts.

  I lean my head back on the couch and stare up at the ceiling. I clench my eyes shut when I remember him pushing me away after that hot kiss. I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn’t. “He’s beautiful, inside and out. He has no family. Technically, my family was probably the closest thing he ever had to a family. He was raised in foster care and joined the army right after high school. That’s when he met my brother Jason. He went the medical route, while Jason was more infantry, but they still were very close. Jason brought him home the first time at my eighteenth birthday. I sent him care packages every time I sent one to Jason because I hated to think he wouldn’t get one.” I laugh and shake my head. “I remember thinking my brother would get mad about it, because he was always so protective of me, but with Patton, he wasn’t. My brother liked me sending Patton packages, and every time I talked to him, he would always mention that Patton would ask about me.” I cross my arms on my chest. “Patton came home again for my college graduation.” I pull my necklace out from under my shirt and show her the heart pendant necklace he had given me as a present. “He gave me this. He said it was because I had the biggest heart of anyone he knew.” I smile at the memory and then lean forward to rest my arms on my legs. “And then I kissed him. I couldn’t stop myself, and it was the best kiss ever, but he broke it off and basically told me he wasn’t interested. I was embarrassed, but I wasn’t going to give up. It’s hard to give up
on someone that you think about every day.”

  “Have you seen him since your brother’s death?”

  I nod. “Yeah, at the funeral a year ago. He gave me his number, and I’ve tried calling him, but he doesn’t respond.... I should probably give up,” I say, realizing how desperate I must sound.

  Dr. Stevens leans forward. “So I guess it’s safe to say that your brother was like a brother to Patton?”

  I nod instantly. “Absolutely.”

  She asks, “So was he stationed with Jason when Jason passed?”

  I take a deep breath. I’ve come to terms with my brother passing. It’s still hard, and I think about him every day, but there’s comfort knowing that Jason was doing what he loved when he was killed. He loved serving his country more than anything. Plus, he wouldn’t want me to be sad. “Patton was there. He didn’t tell me, but a few of the other guys did. I guess Patton even saved Cole and Jeremy, who were also friends of Jason’s.”

  “But he didn’t save your brother...”

  My eyes snap to Dr. Stevens, and I’m instantly on the defensive. “I have no doubt he would have if he could. There was no saving him; he was already too far gone by then.”

  Dr. Stevens’ hands go up in front of her, and her eyes soften. “I know that just by the way you talk about Patton I’m sure he would have done everything for him... and obviously you know that. But what about Patton? Does he have any guilt about Jason’s death?”

  “No!” I say instantly, but then my mind starts to whirl. Images flash back to me at the funeral, and the way that Patton apologized to me over and over and the way he couldn’t look me in the eye. Did he feel guilty? “At least I don’t think so... He shouldn’t.”

  Stunned, I look back at the therapist wide-eyed because she’s definitely stumped me. It never entered my mind that Patton would feel responsible, but just the little I know of him—and the fact he was there when it all happened—well, it’s definitely possible. That could explain so much.

  Dr. Stevens looks at me sympathetically. “Cora, you more than anyone know how soldiers react. Even though we may know they’re not responsible, sometimes it’s hard for them to disconnect and realize the truth of the situation. All we can do is be there for them and listen to them.”

  I nod, agreeing with everything she’s saying. At least until she continues. “And it’s been a year, Cora. If he’s still avoiding your calls... well, it may be time to move on. It might just be too painful of a reminder talking to you... with your brother gone.”

  I feel her words straight to the heart. Could that be it? Could it be too painful for him to even talk to me? And if so, can I really just forget about him?

  PATTON

  “It’s Cora, again. Just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay. I haven’t heard from you for a long time even though I keep leaving messages. I hope I have the right number. Call me and catch me up on what’s new with you, okay? Bye.” I hit the button to delete the message. The same feeling I get every time she calls surges through me. I have so much remorse and guilt for everything that happened with Jason that sometimes it’s all I can think about. But when I hear Cora’s voice, it brings a whole new level of guilt. The thoughts I have for Cora I shouldn’t be having. Besides being innocent and happy, she’s my deceased best friend’s little sister. She doesn’t need me or my shit.

  I must have pushed the wrong number because the message starts to play again, and hearing her voice again picks me up and takes me back to that moment when I allowed my attraction to Jason’s little sister to take over and I’d kissed her. Fuck, just thinking about it brings back all the memories from the first time I saw her when she was eighteen, to all the video calls where I’d jump in when she was talking to her brother and then of course, the kiss. It was her college graduation, and I remember all the strings I had to pull to get leave to go with Jason. He knew how hard I had to try to get the time off, but he never said a word to me about it. I’m sure he had no clue how attracted I was to his little sister. I figured he just thought I wanted the time off, but the truth was, I wanted to see her again. I knew nothing could ever come of it, but it was getting harder and harder to stay away. When she kissed me, it was a kiss that charged through me, making my whole body tremble in need. It startled me back to my senses, and I’d told her that it was a mistake. That she was just a kid, and I was too old for her. Regret hits me hard, but now after everything with Jason, there’s no changing it. There’s absolutely no chance for Cora and me now.

  I hit the end button as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand trying to erase the feeling the memory stirred in my body. Will I ever forget how the touch of her lips felt against mine?

  I hadn’t allowed myself to think of that kiss since Jason’s death. I’m ashamed that it surfaced from just hearing Cora’s voice. Her soft, hesitant tone on the recording sucks me in and makes me want things I shouldn’t. I’ve kept my distance from Cora. I’ve had to because there was no telling what kinds of lines I might have crossed if I hadn’t.

  Jason deserves better than a best friend who let him down and then goes after his younger sister.

  Don’t worry, Jason. I’m looking out for her and keeping my distance at the same time.

  Of course, I’ve made it harder for myself. With my promise to Jason in mind, when I left the Army I moved to Tennessee knowing I wanted to stay close to Cora... just in case she ever needed me. When I was presented with the chance to work exclusively with veterans, I knew I couldn’t pass it up, but now that I’ve agreed to take the position at the veterans’ hospital that works with the therapy facility where Cora works, it’s going to make keeping that distance more challenging. But I must keep my promise to Jason. I can still remember it like it was yesterday when he begged me to take care of his sister. I fought him on it and tried to tell him that he was going to live to do it himself, but he knew he was dying. He grabbed my hand with way more strength than he should have had and made me promise to look out for her. I swore to him I would, and even now I haven’t taken it lightly. I left the Army six months after Jason died and moved to Tennessee to be closer to Cora. I may not talk to her, but I’ve kept my eye on her from afar. There have been so many close calls of her seeing me that I know I need to pull back, but I can’t. I’m drawn to her, and it’s a constant battle because I know I need to keep everything professional.

  And that is a lot easier said than done since I haven’t looked at another woman since I first laid eyes on Cora when she was eighteen.

  2

  Cora

  It’s been a couple days since I met with my therapist, but I’m still unhappy with the advice I was given. I don’t know how she can believe it’s just going to be a simple thing to forget a man like Patton. She obviously doesn’t understand what kind of man Patton is if she thinks I can just forget about him... I mean, it’s been a year since I’ve seen him in person, but I still think about him every day.

  Focus on your work, I tell myself. School and work are what has gotten me through the years, and I know that’s what I need to do now. My patients deserve my complete attention. My dream is to one day be a psychologist that works with veterans, helping them with all their mental health needs. But until I can do more schooling, I’m a case worker that helps them with employment, housing, and making sure they get all the care they need... I do everything I can to help them. This is something I’ve always known I wanted to do, but ever since my brother passed, it has become a passion for me.

  “Hey Cora, I hate to ask, but is there any way you can take over one of the new patients that was assigned to me?” my coworker Brenda asks as she stands in the open doorway of my office.

  I blow out a breath and rub my hand across my face. Brenda tends to try and get out of the more difficult patients that are assigned to her. I usually take them not to help her out, but because those are the patients that deserve and need the most help. I hold my hand out for the file in her hands. “Can I take a look?”

  I flip through th
e file of the patient, Troy Nelson, before I agree to it.

  “Who’s the referring doctor?” I ask when I’m unable to recognize the scribbled signature in the file.

  “The new one. I forget his name, but he seems to be a good one. You won’t mind working with him at all. He’s hot. Capital HOT. What do you think?” Brenda asks further, trying to hand off the new patient.

  With a quick scan, I see that he is confined to a wheelchair, and I know this is the reason Brenda is trying to hand off the patient as she has an aversion to wheelchairs since it requires her to rearrange her office.

  Sometimes I can’t help wondering why some people work in this field.

  “No problem.” I agree to take the patient, Troy Nelson. I figure it’s high time I go and meet with the new doctor since it seems he is referring patients to all of the other case workers in the facility except for me.

  Brenda no sooner walks out of my office than I walk next door to the veterans’ hospital and am directed to the office where the new doctor has been assigned. I go thinking that I’ll be able to read the name off the door or a placard on the desk, but when I get there, the new doctor is just leaving his office and bumps into me.

  I’m so shocked, I can’t breathe.

  “Patton?” I ask, not believing my eyes. His hair is longer, and he has a beard now, but it’s the same piercing blue eyes staring back at me.

  “Yes, excuse me,” he says steadying me with his hands on my shoulders. He releases me quickly and looks at me completely void of any emotion.